As much as I tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t do a Christmas blog, here I am about to break my promise to myself. I can’t help it. All that I have on my mind these days is Christmas, even with those pesky exams threatening to ruin my festive joy by looming over the entire holiday.
So, as I sit here writing my blog and thinking about what I’m going to present about next week, I’m distracted by the niggling temptation to search around online for Christmas gifts for my family. As much as I hate shopping in general, there’s something a little more enjoyable about Christmas shopping. So without getting too carried away with a mad Christmas theme, I’m going to rein it in to the bare elements of gift-giving.
MOTIVES FOR GIFT-GIVING
There are many occasions throughout a lifetime when gift-giving is customary, i.e. birthdays, Christmas, weddings, Valentine’s Day, graduation, christenings, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, retirement… pretty much any positive life event calls for a gift. Sherry (1983) asserts that nearly anything can be transformed into a gift, which is perhaps why picking something can be so difficult! But aside from these celebratory events, there are other reasons people choose to give gifts. Segev, Shoham and Ruvio (2012) found that there are tactical aspects to gift-giving such as to define your place in the social hierarchy, a desire for reciprocity, avoid potential social exclusion or building a desired identity. Segev et al. (2012) also suggest that gifts can be used to bring people closer together through increased perceived similarity, i.e. giving a gift similar to something you own, or ensuring a continued friendship through mutual future consumption, i.e. tickets to a gig. Gifts can also strengthen your relationship through personal shared memories, i.e. framed photographs of you together.
WHEN GIFT-GIVING GOES WRONG
Giving gifts to other people can be tricky, especially if you don’t see the person very often and can’t figure out what they may want/need/don’t already have. You hope that they will appreciate the thought and effort you have gone to in deciding on a gift, regardless of whether or not they like it. Well it turns out that only if you mess it up, and buy a rubbish gift, will they even consider the thought you’ve put into it (Zhang & Epley, 2012). Zhang & Epley suggest that Theory of Mind reasoning is not automatic for us, so we won’t consider the thoughtfulness of another person unless the situation calls for it. We assume that our thoughtful gift decisions will be much more appreciated than simply buying what the person has explicitly asked for, but Gino and Flynn (2011) showed the exact opposite was true.
I think it’s safe to say that shopping for gifts isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, and it can be quite upsetting to buy somebody a gift they don’t like which adds a little bit of pressure to the whole ordeal. This can be particularly true for romantic gift-giving but Nguyen and Munch (2011) suggest that the way you feel about buying gifts in a new relationship can be related back to Bowlby’s Attachment Theory. Nguyen and Munch (2011) found that securely attached individuals were more likely to report enjoying gift-giving, whereas anxious and avoidant individuals found it to be more of an obligation. Another reason which may be contributing to the dreaded gift-giving process, is that the gift is often viewed as a symbolic representation of the relationship (Shurmer, 1971). So in terms of how serious the relationship is, there is added pressure to ensure you are both on the same page and conveying the right message. Flowers and chocolates won’t work forever.
This isn’t the only thing that makes gift-giving difficult. According to Ward and Broniarczyk (2011), buying gifts (for a close friend) which conflict with your sense of self can threaten your identity, such as buying branded goods for a rival football team. This can make you feel uneasy and can cause cognitive dissonance, which will subsequently make you more likely to go and buy something for yourself which strongly reflects your own identity (ibid).
Gift-giving has also been at the heart of many ethical concerns in business-to-business (B2B) transactions as they can often be cloud judgement and influence people’s decisions. Where there is a conflict of interest for the recipient, these gifts can be deemed as bribes making them fundamentally unethical (Fisher, 2007).
BUT GIFT-GIVING CAN BE GOOD!
So now that I’ve made you all feel miserable and nervous about buying presents, let’s look at some of the more positive aspects of gift-giving. It has been suggested that residents in care homes can benefit from improved mental health and wellbeing simply by participating in “giving” activities such as floral arrangements for house-bound patients (Cipriani, 2011). Research has also suggested that gifts in the workplace can significantly benefit worker productivity (Bellemare & Shearer, 2009).
Gifts are typically a method of social exchange with another person, but there is such a thing as self-gifting. I like the sound of that. Mick and Faure (1998) found that you are more likely to buy yourself a gift if you have successfully achieved something (reward self-gifts) rather than if you have failed (therapeutic self-gifts). The research also suggested that you are more likely to self-gift after success if you attribute the success to internal causes, and you are more likely to self-gift after failure if you attribute the failure to external causes (ibid). Some brands, particularly make-up brands, will even encourage self-gifting by using slogans such as L’Oreal’s “Because you’re worth it”.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and gets gifts they actually want! If not, it’s the thought that counts eh!
Shurmer, P. (1971). The gift game. New Society, 18 (482), pp. 1242–1244.

















